[{"_1":2,"_64":-5,"_65":-5},"loaderData",{"_3":4,"_63":-5},"routes/communities.$communitySlug",{"_5":6,"_17":18,"_29":30,"_62":28},"community",{"_7":8,"_9":10,"_11":12,"_13":14,"_15":16},"id","69c478a1-ea17-4a85-86db-bbcd333a28bc","name","Somerville","slug","somerville-ma","description","The first Voices From Here community. ","created_at","2025-04-05T19:27:56.238797","prompt",{"_7":19,"_20":8,"_21":22,"_13":23,"_24":25,"_15":26,"_27":28},"1fe34928-9d9f-4785-8f4a-12173cdc719b","community_id","title","What have you been holding in lately?","We’re inviting reflections on the things we carry but rarely speak aloud.","active",true,"2025-04-05T19:27:56.238806","source_lang_code","en","stories",[31,46,55],{"_7":32,"_20":8,"_33":19,"_34":35,"_36":37,"_38":25,"_15":39,"_27":28,"_40":41,"_42":-5,"_17":43},"b44ac926-469e-407e-80e8-ad7090c66f4c","prompt_id","content","

Will my family be at risk for something at some point? My family consists of minorities, but we are native-born citizens and we are not being singled out at this time. It feels like the president actually wants to punish Massachusetts for no other reason than for being a liberal state. Is being a Massachusetts resident, a registered Democrat, a supporter of civil rights for everyone, and minorities ourselves, enough to put me and my family at risk?

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Every morning, my husband and I pass breaking news back and forth like two action stars covering each other under fire. Or at least that’s how I like to aggrandize it. Sharing threats is about the most action-oriented task I am equipped to do as it turns out, and it’s not even remotely useful. No one knows where this presidency will end or what we’ll be left with, and collectively we are stunned by our own ineptitude to stop it.

“Isn’t anybody organizing?” people ask in pinched desperation. We have been conditioned through eighth grade history and decades of movies that a counter-offense is inevitable. The rebels will rise up. But no one has much to any effect, and last week the administration moved to federalize the national guard.

“So… are we still paying taxes this year, or…?”

This has become a common refrain in the comments online. I can’t really tell if they’re joking or genuinely unsure. We live in a time when it is unclear what is an overreaction and what is nowhere near enough. The lines keep moving. The threats get bigger, and the actions have started to follow. In the midst of it, we’re still doing mind-bogglingly normal things. My husband is readying our second grader for school. I am readying our dog for a walk. It is the bitter end and the ordinary middle all at once.

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Lately, I've been holding in a deep, persistent kind of exhaustion — not just from work or parenting or life’s logistics, but from the political climate that seems to seep into everything. Every day, I scroll through headlines that leave me feeling both furious and numb. Policies that strip away basic rights. Leaders who lie without consequence. Communities pitted against each other for votes and power. It’s like we’re living in a world where empathy has to shout just to be heard, and even then, people wear noise-canceling headphones of ideology.

\n\n

What I’ve been holding in is the guilt of wanting to disconnect. I believe in justice. I care deeply. But some days, I just want to tune it all out — not because I don’t care, but because I care so much it hurts. And I don’t know what to do with that pain. I haven’t said this out loud because I don’t want to seem like I’ve given up. But I haven’t. I’m still here, still trying to listen, to vote, to speak up.

\n\n

Maybe writing this is a reminder to myself: caring is hard, but it’s also the most human thing we do. And maybe I’m not as alone in this exhaustion as I think.

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